If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So much Jack, so little girl.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
