Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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