i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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