i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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