do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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