Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
