I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
