no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
