He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
