laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
soo... how was my night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
