8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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