Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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