Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
