my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
