Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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