Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
