Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
