so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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