home. puking in laundry basket.
do herpes really smell.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
