the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
