So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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