In the future we'll all be gay
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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