All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
