Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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