I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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