i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
