She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
