Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
