Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
please don't ironically join a cult
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