hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
