Where is the hickey?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
