oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
