My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
