this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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