She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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