so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I CAN MOONWALK!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
