so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
