wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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