I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
