i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
