There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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