So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
