No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
