Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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