i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My orgasm happened in two different decades
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
