HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
