Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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