Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
