Define "chronic" masturbator.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
