Where did you get a picture of my penis
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
