i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
