But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
